Wandering is hard for someone who usually has goals....

So the other night while sleeping I had a dream.  I was wandering around one of the local college campuses, in the dark, searching for a building.  I kept wandering and wandering, asked people that I saw for directions, and kept on wandering, until finally I woke up, without finding my destination.

I went back to sleep, but when I woke up later I still remembered this dream.

I have been in grad school now for several years.  Going part-time on a dual degree- Masters in Health Administration and Masters in Nursing.  I started on this journey without a real goal in mind (which is really out of character for me), except to learn some new stuff, and of course, to get the degrees in the end.  People have asked me along the way, "So, what are you going to do when you get done?"  And I have replied "Well, I am not sure that I am going to do anything differently, because I love my job, but I think it will open doors if I choose to do something different."

At heart, I am a very goal-directed, concrete, analytical person.  I like to go from point A to point B (and as quickly as possible), so to not have an end game here has really been out there for me (could it have something to do with 40, quite possibly?).

I think I had the dream because I am getting close to finishing.  I have one more class and to complete my masters' project, and then I am DONE!  I have, I don't think, ever done anything in life like this that has left me wandering around, without knowing what, if anything, I am going to do with this not-so-cheap investment.  Can you put a price tag on gaining knowledge?  I have learned so much about my profession and so much about how health care works (or doesn't--that might be an interesting blog post!).  I have also met so many different and interesting people in my courses.  And I have learned that I may want to teach one day in an online environment such as the one that I am learning in now.  But, I don't have that answer that people seem to want to have "What are you going to do when you get done?"  And I am near done, and it kinda gnaws at my sense of purpose.

So, I guess I will just continue to have anxiety-fueled dreams, wandering around lost for a while.  I think that this may be good for me, to do something, just to say I have done it, without having to have a future goal in mind.  It takes me off of my beaten path of being driven.

So what about you?  Have you ever done something just to say you've done it, or learned something just for the sake of learning?